Still on my ongoing moment of existential vortex and anxiety, really considering about just give in, make bizarre monster porn and dedicate my patreon for a that, but at the same time, maybe I should just check and make a second one to atleast trying to keep a bit of privacity
urgh the anxiety and sadness are starting to creep in
I am so sorry you have to go through stuff like this, it sounds absolutely awful!
I feel is not so awful but then again I am a emotional wreckage drenching with parental issues, the point is that I feel the worse of this is always the after feeling in which you still feel so love hungry for them becuase, you are already aware they are shit…but you want them to look at you as a person worth of be loved
okey so, this is about the other day’s post, the internet thing is still on 50/50 chance of being taken or not
On other stuff, I’m alright, I mean, as alright as one is when knows perfectly well that their parents are Norman Bates’ type, so yeah, alright, the point here is that yesterday I was more in a irritate sense with myself about getting in such situation becuase is kinda my fault that I always forget to keep my guard up and try thinking that I can get honest motherly love from my mom if I just try HARDER, I mean, is not even the first time it happens, but at least the others I have know when to move so yeah, I’m kind of more angry at myself about this situation becuase I always forget!!
the thing is that I’m currenty fine-ish and thanks for caring you folks, thats very important for me and I really meant it!
If I suddenly not online anymore is becuase my mother took internet away again, this time becuase I…fixed her washing machine problem but in doing so she believes I somehow mess up the machine……even if it was only touching a buttom and still doing exactly what she wanted………….and after that she kind of full on punched me in the face and screamed at me about how she can’t wait to finally kick me out of home…hurmp………………so like yeah, there is a chance for me to lose internet in the coming weeks, lets hope it doens’t happen!